Please don’t greet my dog

by Dagny Kaspar

4.29.2021

Training reactive dogs isn't just about behavior; you're training a new mindset. Just like with humans, it takes a considerable amount of time and energy. Just like with humans, there are triggers that don't make sense right away. Unlike with humans, these things cannot be explained plainly to your dog. For a dog to unlearn their reactive behavior, we must prove to them that they are safe and that we will keep them safe in situations where they are prone to feeling threatened. It doesn't matter if we as humans perceive the situation as threatening or non-threatening. If the dog doesn't feel safe, the dog is liable to react however they see fit to keep themselves safe.

There's a level of attention to detail that reactive dog owners must develop in regards to their dog's environment. I can tell you from experience, this is exhausting for us humans. It's work worth doing, but it takes its toll mentally and emotionally. Rehabilitating these dogs is a delicate and fragile process that can be heavily impacted by negative experiences. One small act like letting your friendly dog run up to a stranger dog or not asking permission to pet someone else's dog can undo months or years of tedious training and trust-building if that stranger dog happens to be reactive. This can be devastating for both the dog and the handler. Not to mention, it's extremely dangerous. You might see the situation as: "That dog shouldn't be around other dogs at all," or "That dog is aggressive and a threat. How dare they put my happy-go-lucky pooch in danger?" The reality is: it's never that simple. Try to put yourself in the shoes of that "aggressive dog and irresponsible owner".

I used to be that person that would excitedly run up to an unfamiliar dog. I always had the best of intentions. After all, what dog wouldn't appreciate extra love and pets? I distinctly remember feeling enraged and embarrassed once when I attempted to run up to an unfamiliar dog and the handler yelled at me. I didn't know how complicated the situation was. I didn't yet understand that dogs are just as individualistic as people. How would you feel if a stranger ran up to you in a parking lot and tried to hug you? Would you react by hugging them back and becoming instant best friends, or would you be more likely to ask for some space? Would you instinctively react in self-defense? Consent matters for dogs, too.

Dogs aren't people. But they're just as complicated. They're not wild animals, but they can feel just as mysterious. It's my mission to clearly define these similarities and differences for dog owners everywhere in my effort to help dogs and humans understand each other better.